Cline and educator Jim Fay. Together, the two take readers on a journey of love and care in raising confident, well-adjusted children. It includes actionable advice and step-by-step techniques for effective parenting. With a particular emphasis on emotional health and control, authors Dr.
Daniel J. Siegel and Tina P. Bryson, PhD, use their backgrounds in psychiatry and psychotherapy to help parents raise emotionally intelligent kids. Parents know all too well that communicating with their children can be difficult. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have some guidance that makes the two-way street of communication easier. They include tips on raising children with skills that will carry them into adulthood.
Written by Kim J. Payne and Lisa M. Disciplining children is hard. Rarely are parents given guidance on how best to do it. Written by Thomas Phelan, PhD, a psychologist and expert on ADHD, the book spells out how you can help your child deal with their emotions, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
He includes clear advice for many roadblocks you find in a day of parenting. Most parents have lost their temper at some point. For some, however, the yelling can become second nature. Rebecca Eanes is a popular parenting blogger who writes about parenting with a positive mindset and attitude. She also discusses her own struggles with emotional control and support as a mother raising two children. The result: a guide that comes from a helpful friend rather than a stuffy expert.
Susan Stiffelman is a family therapist who has seen her share of difficulties between parents and children. Many of those difficulties come down to a power struggle. Learn how to manage your own emotions and expectations while helping your child manage theirs and how to gain cooperation without nagging them or yelling. At least that was what he thought; being such a greedy person.
Kweku Ananse then tied the pot of wisdom around his neck with a strong vine rope and let the pot hang in front of him.
But then he was afraid that someone would find the pot of wisdom and steal it. While Ananse was trying to climb the thorny silk cotton tree his son was watching him. Well the sly one Ananse hanged the pot behind him and to his surprise; he was able to climb to the top of the tree with his pot. Finally Ananse sat on a branch of the tree holding the pot of wisdom. The following are some examples of stories that were told and the lessons being learnt.
These are but a few of some folktales told in the Ghanaian, Nigeria and Liberia communities in Africa. A folktale in traditional setting is an effective means of inculcating the virtues in children Gyekye, It is obvious from the explanations given and their examples that these folktales carry with it values and morals which are being handed from one generation to the other.
Another significant traditional practice which instils discipline and fosters good parenting in our youth especially, the young girls is puberty rites. It is one of the main traditional practices which have strongly been influenced by modernization and education. Puberty rite is a traditional practice which is performed mainly on adolescent girls to initiate them to womanhood.
This rite is therefore believed to make women or girls good wives if they are able to go through the process successfully.
Though this process is being celebrated or performed by Nigeria, Liberia, Ghana and some African communities, there may be certain practices which may differ among the countries. However, they follow a general pattern. These general patterns include:.
In view of this, the author would like to describe briefly how adolescent girls in Ghana and Nigeria go through this process of puberty. In Ghana the puberty rite is being celebrated by most of the ethnic groups in Ghana.
As the time approaches for the initiation, announcement is given on behalf of the gods to prepare young girls who have reached the adolescent stage to partake in the rituals. Qualified adolescent girls are then taken to the queen mother who will then prepare them physically for the ritual. In the case of the Dipo, the girls are given to the traditional priest. The queen mother will then examine the girls including their menstrual cycle to ensure that the girls are indeed virgins.
If they pass the test, their parents will then prepare them to the initiation house. This initiation house is under the supervision of responsible, elderly women and also some girls.
The identified pubertal girls are then taught issues concerning women. These are marriage, housewifery, how to dress, pregnancy, child birth and parenting. Similarly, in Igbo land in Nigeria, the young girls the celebrants would gather to learn private lessons of life from older women. In this gathering, young ladies learn personal grooming, among other values. Their hair would be plaited and their body polished with ufie red cam wood and adorned with uli designs.
Songs, storytelling, and dancing would permeate the night. Mothers would lay out the facts of life and what it meant to be beautiful. Traditionally in Ghana, before the final initiation, the girls are regarded unclean. In view of that, they are shaved, cleaned bathed and smeared with some sheabutter. The women will then take the celebrants to the river side to wash three times every day. This will last for the period of the ceremony.
When it gets to the evening this same girls and women will assist the celebrants to sing and dance with traditional love songs. This is done to invite suitors for the being initiated girls. The last day is more remarkable. On this day, the girls are again led to the river. They are given a boiled egg to swallow. The egg must be swallowed whole. If the egg is chewed there is the fear that they may not have children if they do chew it.
After all these, the girls are finally dressed in special clothes and ornaments. They are then seated in an open place. This is to show to the public that these girls have now entered womanhood and also showcase themselves to the men who would want suitors or wives.
This is done amidst singing and dancing. Here, the girls would dance, trade tips, share meals, and simply have a great time. Meanwhile, eligible bachelors would watch from the periphery. At the end of it all, the girls can now be taken home to their parents. At this juncture, they are given the right to marry any man who comes to seek their hand in marriage from the parents. One aspect of this initiation is that, during the past years, whenever a girl ceases to go through the rite due to pregnancy or pre-marital sex, they are known to bring disgrace, shame and a curse to their families and the society.
In view of that they are ostracized. In some communities, a ritual is performed for both the girl and the man responsible for the pregnancy. The rite is a form of punishment for not waiting to get married before having sex and becoming pregnant. The rite is performed in public in order to deter other young girls and boys who are soon to become adolescents to be patient until they are initiated and get married.
Most often, when puberty rite is mentioned, adolescent girls often come to the fore; but then boys who have also reached the adolescent stage also go through this passage. In Liberia, some communities do initiate boys as well as in Nigeria.
In Liberia for instance, Young Mano men of Liberia go through a ceremonial "death" at puberty. These young men are stabbed with a spear and thrown over a cliff to symbolize death and rebirth into adulthood. Actually, a protective padding is kept in the spear from penetrating them, and a sack of chicken blood was tied over the spot to appear as though the young men had been stuck.
They are then tossed over the cliff, but a heavy object is thrown over instead to sound like they have been thrown. Presently, this puberty rite has been modernized due to education and also foreign religion. At present, the duration for the initiation has been reduced.
Sometimes it even last for a day. Again, the breasts of the ladies have now been covered and also the adolescent stage is no more strictly enforced. Currently, parents even initiate their young girls as early as years. Though puberty rite activities may differ from one African community to another, their reason for this initiation is similar.
For instance this puberty rite was initiated to prevent young girls and adolescents from teenage pregnancy, prostitution and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. It was also introduced to teach the young woman how to be responsible and take care of her own family. Presently mothers are not often seen in the house as they used to be. It must be emphasized that the involvement of more mothers in the modern labour force, deprives the children as well as the whole family of the daily love and care so necessary for proper child rearing and development.
During infancy, the child is breastfed for a longer time as compared to this modern time. This, it is believed, develop a bond between the baby and the mother. African culture and values see the mother as the keeper of the house. She is a housewife and makes sure that as the father is the bread winner, she must cater for all the domestic aspect of the children.
Currently, there has been a paradigm shift. Since our day to day lives many of us are overstretched, we sometimes approach parenting tired and overwhelmed and as a result leave the children to the neglect of house helps and caretakers. This reduces the amount of time parents should spend with their wards.
It should be stressed that even when the extended family is no longer in function, parents especially mothers, should be around to help bring up the child in a responsible manner. The mother serves as a support to the child especially, when the extended family is not around. The traditional African systems as described have gone through the influence of external systems and forces which has transformed the rich parental values we have as Africans.
The extended family system which is under pressure is rapidly eroding and failing to fulfil its primary role of socialization. In the urban areas for instance, the nuclear family is prominently cropping up.
Presently, there is no cohesion; it is just the individual family, his work and his property. Schedule a private one-on-one consultation to speak directly with Janet for personalized advice.
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